Dementia

a man sits on a chair, with a cane, alongside a street

Losing the ability to direct our own lives, make choices and relate with those we love and care about is a frightening prospect many of us may face. Dementia and other forms of cognitive decline can strip us of those aspects of ourselves we hold to be essential or even sacred: Self-awareness, autonomy in decision-making, recognition of family or loved ones, the ability to take care of ourselves.

Perhaps you are already watching this scenario unfold for someone you know or love. How do you talk about dementia? What decisions need to be anticipated? What are your choices now? What are your options in the future? How can you help others to understand how you feel?

When I counsel and advise individuals and families who are managing with a diagnosis of dementia, I help them to:

address challenges of care management with confidence,
anticipate critical decisions,
be empowered to advocate for what care is needed, and
avoid complicated crises and unnecessary suffering.

Dementia: One Family’s Journey

I worked with Dr. Lael Duncan multiple times as my mother aged. At the beginning of mom’s onset of dementia Dr. Duncan helped me understand the time-sensitive nature of talking with her. Before any further cognitive decline, we were able to understand what her wishes were concerning the completion of an Advanced Health Care Directive. Although a Radcliffe graduate, mom has never liked making decisions. It was not until we met with Dr. Duncan that I fully understood what she wanted. Dr. Duncan spent hours with mom, expertly guiding her through thoughtful, open-ended questions that led to the description of her ideal day and what she considered most valuable in life. Through the conversation, we discovered that mom harbored fears stemming from watching her grandmother’s painful death. Mom did not realize some of the treatments she thought she wanted are no longer considered therapeutic and are outdated. This information gave mom great comfort and peace of mind.

E. DeRuff

Larkspur, California

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We had a wonderful experience with Dr. Lael Duncan, who is a wise and learned professional. We hired Lael to assist us in handling an end of life situation with my elderly Mother who had cognitive decline after a head injury. My Mother was under the care of a large medical group and had 24/7 in-home care, but I was needing someone who I could ask difficult questions to and get an outside opinion on how to confidently and comfortably cope with a long goodbye due to dementia. Lael immediately responded to my quest for help and support and instantly I felt supported due to her extensive experience and medical training. She allowed me to be able to breathe and be calm while facing critical decisions regarding my Mother’s dementia and her care.

Lael has a warm and loving way about her while at the same time she is very professional and ethical in her approach to elder care and the complicated family dynamics that can make the situation even more challenging. Knowing that Lael had my back and that I could call her any time of the day or night gave me a sense of peace and support that I could not have imagined during this devastating family ordeal. She helped me formulate an improved plan for my Mother’s care. With Lael’s guidance I was able make the decisions that I knew my Mother wanted me to make for her.

DP & AP, Sausalito, CA